The Least of These...

…could be a homeless guy in the final stages of sepsis (where the infected body has literally become a plugged toilet, incapable of flushing itself).  He might also have head to toe bruising and "mystery rash," and black nails resembling thick talons.  No amount of bathing will clean him.  He is everything that turns the stomach.  Everything I look away from.  A product of his own "choices...?"

The danger with this type of patient is to value him at the same level he has, obviously, valued himself.  There is the temptation to provide the bare minimum of care for him, while I lavish the darling patient – the sweet little 80 year old grandpa – with my best.  But…aren't we all "dirty" in the final analysis?  

When somebody shows up with the veneer of “culture and cleanliness” torn away, I am faced with the reality of how God must see me apart from Jesus.  Under the visible surface, the homeless man and I look identical to God.

Without Jesus, I believe we are terminal and septic.  I am drenched in arrogance.  I flounder in hypocrisy.  It swirls through and rots me.  I am incapable of flushing the toxin from my soul.  Only Jesus can.  So I pray...

"Save me Jesus.  I am, on the surface, put together.  This makes me forget the ugliness I harbor.  Makes me feel proud and separate from those who appear worse on the outside.  Forgive me please. 

Please clean and flush my soul.  Help me to remember long and well what I been saved from.  Help me to see with your eyes, hear as your hear, love as you love, and speak your words.  Put healing in my body that pours into the lives of my patients, and those around me.  

Help me to always remember that you are the source of all that is good within me, lest I fall back into pride.  Please help me to avoid the scraping self-hatred of false humility, while retaining a healthy sense of who I am apart from you. 

Please give me opportunities to be love in a world that scarcely recognizes it anymore.  And when I catch glimpses of you, help me to freeze those moments, and worship you in the midst of them...amen."